








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2804 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1809 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1633 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1958 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,972 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike481 | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | yonji | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | JR | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | KISMAAHHH | 56% | 78 |
| #5 | tkefni | 55% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JR | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | KISMAAHHH | 56% | 78 |
| #5 | tkefni | 55% | 97 |
| #6 | Willy Mcdougall | 53% | 58 |
| #7 | gimp | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | 22 | 0.0375 |
| #2 | tkefni | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | KISMAAHHH | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | mike481 | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | Willy Mcdougall | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 233 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 186 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | gimp | 77 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | yonji | 74 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | mike481 | 34 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | +2.17 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | espresso martini | +1.76 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | gimp | +0.58 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | tkefni | +0.49 | 77 | 81 |
| #5 | KISMAAHHH | +0.40 | 71 | 65 |





