








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 903 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2129 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1777 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2488 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $972,972 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike481 | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | yonji | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | KISMAAHHH | 54% | 90 |
| #4 | espresso martini | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | JR | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Gibby | 51% | 43 |
| #8 | tkefni | 51% | 292 |
| #9 | max | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | gimp | 50% | 88 |
| #11 | .. n0stra | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 29 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | espresso martini | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | yonji | 8 | 0.0207 |
| #5 | gimp | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 1884 | 0.32 | 58 min |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 331 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | gimp | 268 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | espresso martini | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | aam | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonji | +4.79 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | mike481 | +3.63 | 91 | 56 |
| #3 | JR | +2.51 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | max | +2.34 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | tkefni | +1.67 | 76 | 83 |





