








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 148 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 69,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24449 | 35% |
| Smokes | 13960 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 14806 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 16523 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,729,568 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KISMAAHHH | 56% | 243 |
| #2 | max | 56% | 93 |
| #3 | espresso martini | 55% | 97 |
| #4 | .. n0stra | 54% | 92 |
| #5 | Gibby | 53% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gibby | 53% | 110 |
| #6 | aam | 51% | 103 |
| #7 | Willy Mcdougall | 51% | 292 |
| #8 | gimp | 50% | 253 |
| #9 | froNt d:) | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willy Mcdougall | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 24 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | espresso martini | 14 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | gimp | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | aam | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KISMAAHHH | 839 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | gimp | 668 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | aam | 312 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | .. n0stra | 285 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Willy Mcdougall | 251 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | +2.47 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | espresso martini | +2.23 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | tkefni | +2.05 | 78 | 84 |
| #4 | Gibby | +1.28 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | KISMAAHHH | +0.94 | 72 | 63 |





