








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2883 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2824 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2969 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2726 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,368 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KISMAAHHH | 66% | 73 |
| #2 | JR | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | tkefni | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | Gibby | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | Willy Mcdougall | 50% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Willy Mcdougall | 50% | 88 |
| #6 | espresso martini | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | max | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | froNt d:) | 35% | 20 |
| #9 | aam | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Willy Mcdougall | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | espresso martini | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | max | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 1707 | 0.33 | 50 min |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 278 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gibby | 115 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | espresso martini | 112 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | aam | 103 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | espresso martini | +2.88 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | JR | +2.75 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | Gibby | +1.34 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | max | +1.12 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | tkefni | +1.10 | 72 | 83 |





