








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4810 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3164 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2018 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3113 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $596,021 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orb1t | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | qyurby | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | leae | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | DAD | 66% | 32 |
| #5 | kooper | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 57% | 61 |
| #13 | pecan50 | 57% | 97 |
| #14 | spider | 57% | 23 |
| #15 | Liger Rider | 54% | 26 |
| #16 | Sedare | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VagueDark | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | DAD | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Dios | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | pecan50 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pecan50 | 367 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | neight | 256 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | VagueDark | 254 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | t0rtle | 174 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orb1t | +4.27 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | DAD | +3.01 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | neight | +2.97 | 80 | 75 |
| #4 | t0rtle | +2.66 | 80 | 74 |
| #5 | qyurby | +2.19 | 81 | 72 |





