








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 38% |
| Smokes | 330 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 369 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,720 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kooper | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Awsome | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | neight | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | pecan50 | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Awsome | 253 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #2 | rokas | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | neight | 62 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | pecan50 | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAD | +4.96 | 75 | 35 |
| #2 | kooper | +3.56 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | neight | +3.30 | 79 | 76 |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓻𝓪𝔃 | -0.27 | 87 | 46 |
| #5 | Awsome | -0.43 | 58 | 74 |





