








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7018 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6716 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7256 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4344 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,961 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HesuPeka | 55% | 146 |
| #2 | large man | 53% | 122 |
| #3 | Kimmukka | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | Stinde HyperX | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | make | 49% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Stinde HyperX | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | make | 49% | 89 |
| #6 | kesonjus | 49% | 87 |
| #7 | Bozo | 49% | 107 |
| #8 | Ahmo Michclangch | 41% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large man | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Kimmukka | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | make | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | kesonjus | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Ahmo Michclangch | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bozo | 482 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | kesonjus | 380 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | large man | 307 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | make | 243 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ahmo Michclangch | 236 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large man | +1.46 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | make | +1.45 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Ahmo Michclangch | +1.43 | 74 | 77 |
| #4 | Stinde HyperX | +1.19 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | HesuPeka | +0.59 | 71 | 55 |





