








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1414 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1356 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1481 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1408 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,721 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large man | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | HesuPeka | 58% | 72 |
| #3 | Kimmukka | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | ee | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | make | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimmukka | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Mikcsu | 5 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | make | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Ahmo Michclangch | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | ee | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ee | 342 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | make | 127 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kimmukka | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | HesuPeka | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ahmo Michclangch | 82 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large man | +4.05 | 67 | 70 |
| #2 | make | +2.04 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | HesuPeka | +1.20 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | Ahmo Michclangch | +0.99 | 70 | 75 |
| #5 | Stinde HyperX | +0.36 | 76 | 60 |





