








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5884 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4991 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6807 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3572 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,113,036 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeliceN | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Jello | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Moxit | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | leises knife | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 49% | 530 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | little fancy | 49% | 399 |
| #7 | Nippeldachs | 49% | 439 |
| #8 | trying! | 48% | 182 |
| #9 | Hoyo | 48% | 388 |
| #10 | ツ | 46% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoyo | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | little fancy | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 5 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | trying! | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Nippeldachs | 4 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nippeldachs | 2027 | 0.22 | 62 min |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 1941 | 0.17 | 62 min |
| #3 | Hoyo | 1429 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #4 | little fancy | 754 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | ツ | 350 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.52 | 88 | 83 |
| #2 | Tilly | +1.15 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | leises knife | -0.87 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Moxit | -1.07 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | Jello | -1.10 | 67 | 70 |





