








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 340 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7336 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5866 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5337 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4789 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,132,555 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jello | 51% | 61 |
| #2 | leises knife | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | j-D | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 48% | 470 |
| #5 | little fancy | 48% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tilly | 48% | 388 |
| #7 | Nippeldachs | 48% | 416 |
| #8 | trying! | 47% | 132 |
| #9 | ツ | 46% | 213 |
| #10 | Moxit | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilly | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ツ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | little fancy | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | trying! | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nippeldachs | 1965 | 0.22 | 61 min |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 1792 | 0.18 | 56 min |
| #3 | Tilly | 978 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #4 | little fancy | 542 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | ツ | 377 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.90 | 89 | 83 |
| #2 | j-D | +1.50 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Tilly | +0.97 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Moxit | +0.20 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | leises knife | -0.02 | 75 | 63 |





