








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 582 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11433 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9636 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7813 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7948 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,538,803 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeliceN | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | Jello | 58% | 76 |
| #3 | leises knife | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | little fancy | 50% | 440 |
| #5 | Nippeldachs | 50% | 543 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tilly | 49% | 530 |
| #7 | Moxit | 49% | 61 |
| #8 | Hoyo | 48% | 470 |
| #9 | trying! | 48% | 187 |
| #10 | ツ | 47% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilly | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Hoyo | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | little fancy | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ツ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Nippeldachs | 5 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nippeldachs | 2463 | 0.21 | 75 min |
| #2 | Hoyo | 1688 | 0.17 | 42 min |
| #3 | Tilly | 1345 | 0.12 | 37 min |
| #4 | little fancy | 832 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #5 | ツ | 455 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.67 | 88 | 82 |
| #2 | Tilly | +1.02 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Jello | -0.39 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Moxit | -0.48 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | HeliceN | -0.58 | 61 | 76 |





