








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4191 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4105 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4578 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5386 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,402,208 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leises knife | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | HeliceN | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Jello | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Moxit | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 50% | 440 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tilly | 49% | 399 |
| #7 | Nippeldachs | 48% | 343 |
| #8 | Hoyo | 48% | 301 |
| #9 | trying! | 47% | 133 |
| #10 | ツ | 47% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilly | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Hoyo | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Nippeldachs | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | trying! | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 1602 | 0.17 | 51 min |
| #2 | Nippeldachs | 1588 | 0.22 | 50 min |
| #3 | Hoyo | 1126 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #4 | Tilly | 1001 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #5 | trying! | 222 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.70 | 88 | 83 |
| #2 | Tilly | +0.83 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | leises knife | +0.16 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Jello | -0.38 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | little fancy | -0.92 | 56 | 63 |





