








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2706 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3542 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3852 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2559 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,059 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZALAMI; | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | leises knife | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | little fancy | 47% | 92 |
| #4 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 47% | 257 |
| #5 | Hoyo | 46% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hoyo | 46% | 213 |
| #6 | Nippeldachs | 46% | 255 |
| #7 | Tilly | 46% | 186 |
| #8 | trying! | 45% | 64 |
| #9 | Jello | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nippeldachs | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Tilly | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | little fancy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Hoyo | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nippeldachs | 1071 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 852 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | Hoyo | 732 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #4 | Tilly | 500 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | little fancy | 182 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZALAMI; | +4.19 | 90 | 78 |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.63 | 89 | 81 |
| #3 | Tilly | +1.50 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | leises knife | +0.13 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | little fancy | -0.86 | 60 | 63 |





