








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3153 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3598 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4038 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2377 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,069 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jello | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | leises knife | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Nippeldachs | 49% | 141 |
| #4 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 48% | 187 |
| #5 | Tilly | 48% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 48% | 187 |
| #5 | Tilly | 48% | 182 |
| #6 | little fancy | 47% | 133 |
| #7 | Hoyo | 47% | 132 |
| #8 | ツ | 45% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoyo | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Tilly | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | little fancy | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ツ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 705 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | Nippeldachs | 619 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | Hoyo | 572 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | Tilly | 478 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | little fancy | 270 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.17 | 87 | 83 |
| #2 | Tilly | +1.42 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | leises knife | +1.21 | 80 | 71 |
| #4 | Jello | +0.93 | 73 | 72 |
| #5 | little fancy | -0.60 | 53 | 63 |





