








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8124 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7300 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7714 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5469 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,487,435 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jello | 62% | 65 |
| #2 | leises knife | 53% | 66 |
| #3 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 50% | 543 |
| #4 | trying! | 49% | 141 |
| #5 | Tilly | 49% | 439 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tilly | 49% | 439 |
| #6 | little fancy | 48% | 343 |
| #7 | Hoyo | 48% | 416 |
| #8 | ツ | 46% | 255 |
| #9 | Moxit | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tilly | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Hoyo | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | little fancy | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ツ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | 2039 | 0.18 | 63 min |
| #2 | Hoyo | 1485 | 0.17 | 37 min |
| #3 | Tilly | 1002 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #4 | little fancy | 655 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | ツ | 454 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLATSCHMEISTER | +3.77 | 89 | 82 |
| #2 | Tilly | +1.22 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Jello | -0.27 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | leises knife | -0.29 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | Moxit | -0.42 | 66 | 58 |





