








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 299 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4409 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3529 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2229 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2509 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,465 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Kappie | 60% | 78 |
| #3 | Oscar | 59% | 201 |
| #4 | Vibe Check | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | TPPH | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Thompie | 53% | 36 |
| #7 | Chris070 | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | mintmeister | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 39% | 23 |
| #10 | Deimos | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappie | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Oscar | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | TPPH | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Thompie | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Chris070 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oscar | 531 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kappie | 222 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Klutch | 211 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | TPPH | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Thompie | 133 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | +2.40 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | Chris070 | +2.38 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | Oscar | +1.60 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | Kappie | +1.18 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | Gloeiii | +0.86 | 89 | 50 |





