








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2668 | 51% |
| Smokes | 838 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1073 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 671 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,190 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Awppenheimer | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | D LOW | 47% | 75 |
| #3 | Esteemed Professor Chongo | 45% | 175 |
| #4 | PegLovesFaultyProstates | 44% | 265 |
| #5 | Rusty | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Esteemed Professor Chongo | 45% | 175 |
| #4 | PegLovesFaultyProstates | 44% | 265 |
| #5 | Rusty | 43% | 89 |
| #6 | Old Jack | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | yungflexagon | 36% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty | 17 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Esteemed Professor Chongo | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | PegLovesFaultyProstates | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | D LOW | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | yungflexagon | 12 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PegLovesFaultyProstates | 743 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | Rusty | 257 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Esteemed Professor Chongo | 229 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Old Jack | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | yungflexagon | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Awppenheimer | +6.69 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Rusty | +1.23 | 47 | 59 |
| #3 | [NCG]hockeyjoe5 | +1.02 | 45 | 51 |
| #4 | Old Jack | +0.18 | 50 | 38 |
| #5 | D LOW | -0.20 | 48 | 15 |





