








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3982 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2695 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2732 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 381 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,636 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikea, the Wonderful Everyday | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | p4905 | 68% | 53 |
| #3 | Alex | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | Fynises | 58% | 130 |
| #5 | Chaj. | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Mococo Abyssgard | 51% | 96 |
| #13 | PlayerUnmet | 49% | 91 |
| #14 | Drpringle777 | 48% | 50 |
| #15 | Mula Hwaka | 47% | 19 |
| #16 | Popstar69 | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wood Meister | 111 | 0.0277 |
| #2 | cheaster | 72 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | wimble | 64 | 0.0280 |
| #4 | Mococo Abyssgard | 31 | 0.0155 |
| #5 | Fynises | 14 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wimble | 946 | 0.41 | 20 min |
| #2 | Mococo Abyssgard | 320 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | cheaster | 276 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ikea, the Wonderful Everyday | 166 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #5 | p4905 | 132 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +6.88 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | wimble | +2.26 | 47 | 59 |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | +2.13 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | Ikea, the Wonderful Everyday | +2.02 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | Mula Hwaka | +1.53 | 55 | 61 |





