








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 373 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1358 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1739 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1304 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,111 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaykelon | 69% | 86 |
| #2 | wimble | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | p4905 | 65% | 130 |
| #4 | Alex | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | Chaj. | 62% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Wood Meister | 55% | 98 |
| #14 | PlayerUnmet | 54% | 46 |
| #15 | Kara | 54% | 41 |
| #16 | Mula Hwaka | 53% | 83 |
| #17 | Drpringle777 | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mococo Abyssgard | 53 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Wood Meister | 52 | 0.0257 |
| #3 | cheaster | 47 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 21 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Tuvalu | 15 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 879 | 0.33 | 21 min |
| #2 | Mococo Abyssgard | 480 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | p4905 | 380 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | cheaster | 287 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | wimble | 244 | 0.46 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +6.50 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | Anything | +2.96 | 85 | 41 |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | +2.96 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | wimble | +1.38 | 33 | 65 |
| #5 | Alex | +1.31 | 36 | 60 |





