








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 769 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 526 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5847 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5272 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3813 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2371 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,889 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omega Blurz | 84% | 32 |
| #2 | May | 71% | 58 |
| #3 | p4905 | 65% | 179 |
| #4 | Anything | 63% | 68 |
| #5 | Kara | 63% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 51% | 96 |
| #17 | Charle | 48% | 33 |
| #18 | Cotton Candy Bullets | 48% | 31 |
| #19 | Drpringle777 | 48% | 81 |
| #20 | Tuvalu | 45% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheaster | 88 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Wood Meister | 59 | 0.0296 |
| #3 | wimble | 44 | 0.0273 |
| #4 | Noname | 27 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Chaj. | 26 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSCH SABRE RECIPROCATING SAW | 791 | 0.39 | 18 min |
| #2 | wimble | 762 | 0.47 | 18 min |
| #3 | p4905 | 453 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | cheaster | 330 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Alex | 330 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +6.42 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Anything | +3.68 | 83 | 42 |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | +2.86 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | wimble | +2.24 | 42 | 71 |
| #5 | May | +0.60 | 68 | 23 |





