








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4114 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1982 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2438 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,213 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swilLy | 79% | 57 |
| #2 | Squanchy | 70% | 171 |
| #3 | wieBz | 68% | 122 |
| #4 | MayhemZJ | 63% | 216 |
| #5 | chaChi | 63% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | wieBz | 68% | 122 |
| #4 | MayhemZJ | 63% | 216 |
| #5 | chaChi | 63% | 183 |
| #6 | AMPed | 56% | 68 |
| #7 | LongLimbs | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MayhemZJ | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | chaChi | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | wieBz | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Squanchy | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | AMPed | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | 682 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | MayhemZJ | 515 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Squanchy | 439 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | wieBz | 355 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | AMPed | 291 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | +3.41 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Floamy | +2.03 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | MayhemZJ | +1.08 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | LongLimbs | +0.74 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | swilLy | +0.66 | 79 | 68 |





