








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4166 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4586 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2689 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2581 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,689,758 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 841 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floamy | 70% | 171 |
| #2 | AMPed | 69% | 72 |
| #3 | wieBz | 69% | 147 |
| #4 | swilLy | 67% | 84 |
| #5 | chaChi | 66% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | wieBz | 69% | 147 |
| #4 | swilLy | 67% | 84 |
| #5 | chaChi | 66% | 293 |
| #6 | MayhemZJ | 65% | 220 |
| #7 | bacon lover jeff | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | MayhemZJ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Floamy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | wieBz | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | AMPed | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | 987 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | Floamy | 714 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | MayhemZJ | 549 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | AMPed | 381 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #5 | swilLy | 366 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | +4.53 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Floamy | +2.14 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | MayhemZJ | +1.76 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | AMPed | +1.72 | 82 | 79 |
| #5 | wieBz | +0.39 | 77 | 61 |





