








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3266 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2353 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2547 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,513,551 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taking-Lives | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | chill | 73% | 30 |
| #3 | Viper | 72% | 29 |
| #4 | Squanchy | 69% | 147 |
| #5 | Floamy | 68% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MayhemZJ | 65% | 179 |
| #8 | scooterJ | 64% | 25 |
| #9 | chaChi | 64% | 127 |
| #10 | AMPed | 63% | 41 |
| #11 | LongLimbs | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MayhemZJ | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | chaChi | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Squanchy | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | AMPed | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | chill | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floamy | 492 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | MayhemZJ | 455 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | chaChi | 418 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | swilLy | 399 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #5 | Squanchy | 359 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | +4.16 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | AMPed | +1.62 | 84 | 78 |
| #3 | Taking-Lives | +1.62 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Floamy | +1.58 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | MayhemZJ | +1.50 | 84 | 67 |





