








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5056 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5762 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3911 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4851 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,873,167 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swilLy | 74% | 42 |
| #2 | AMPed | 68% | 117 |
| #3 | Squanchy | 66% | 293 |
| #4 | wieBz | 64% | 127 |
| #5 | Floamy | 63% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | wieBz | 64% | 127 |
| #5 | Floamy | 63% | 183 |
| #6 | bacon lover jeff | 62% | 97 |
| #7 | MayhemZJ | 58% | 249 |
| #8 | LongLimbs | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squanchy | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | MayhemZJ | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Floamy | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | wieBz | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | bacon lover jeff | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floamy | 699 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Squanchy | 684 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | MayhemZJ | 563 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | AMPed | 501 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | wieBz | 366 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | +4.19 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | AMPed | +1.23 | 80 | 75 |
| #3 | Floamy | +1.12 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | LongLimbs | +0.97 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | MayhemZJ | +0.70 | 80 | 62 |





