








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 263 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1522 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1606 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 662 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,214 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exilir | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | ElfAngelx | 68% | 40 |
| #3 | axE | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | TACO | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Punct | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GipsyKing | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | porq | 48% | 102 |
| #9 | rzv | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | Ancient Lord | 41% | 49 |
| #11 | sadabello | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | porq | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | evoL | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Ancient Lord | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | rzv | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evoL | 178 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | ElfAngelx | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ancient Lord | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Punct | 80 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | porq | 68 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACO | +5.69 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | evoL | +3.28 | 56 | 56 |
| #3 | ElfAngelx | +3.28 | 54 | 80 |
| #4 | Punct | +3.00 | 78 | 79 |
| #5 | Exilir | +1.49 | 51 | 53 |





