








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 835 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2908 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1777 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1616 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,918,943 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GipsyKing | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | ElfAngelx | 54% | 238 |
| #3 | TACO | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | Punct | 50% | 130 |
| #5 | evoL | 50% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | axE | 48% | 131 |
| #7 | tomasusus | 48% | 102 |
| #8 | sadabello | 45% | 71 |
| #9 | Exilir | 45% | 111 |
| #10 | Ancient Lord | 42% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evoL | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | ElfAngelx | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | axE | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Punct | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Exilir | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElfAngelx | 612 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | evoL | 447 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | Punct | 327 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | axE | 297 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ancient Lord | 210 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACO | +3.28 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | ElfAngelx | +2.39 | 56 | 78 |
| #3 | Punct | +2.31 | 78 | 74 |
| #4 | evoL | +1.21 | 52 | 59 |
| #5 | Exilir | +0.76 | 54 | 47 |





