








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11825 | 30% |
| Smokes | 12324 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8110 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7015 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,304 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomasusus | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | TACO | 58% | 130 |
| #3 | Punct | 57% | 210 |
| #4 | porq | 54% | 238 |
| #5 | evoL | 53% | 471 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Exilir | 51% | 162 |
| #8 | axE | 51% | 188 |
| #9 | GipsyKing | 49% | 47 |
| #10 | sadabello | 46% | 81 |
| #11 | rzv | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exilir | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | evoL | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Ancient Lord | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | porq | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | axE | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evoL | 687 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #2 | Punct | 482 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Ancient Lord | 337 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | axE | 321 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | TACO | 253 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACO | +1.91 | 53 | 61 |
| #2 | Punct | +1.44 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | ElfAngelx | +1.17 | 54 | 79 |
| #4 | Exilir | +0.62 | 51 | 50 |
| #5 | evoL | +0.59 | 49 | 56 |





