








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4902 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6289 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4964 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3402 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,984 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACO | 63% | 120 |
| #2 | ElfAngelx | 57% | 210 |
| #3 | tomasusus | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | axE | 56% | 78 |
| #5 | evoL | 54% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | evoL | 54% | 263 |
| #6 | sadabello | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | Exilir | 50% | 76 |
| #8 | porq | 50% | 130 |
| #9 | Ancient Lord | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElfAngelx | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | evoL | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Exilir | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ancient Lord | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | porq | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElfAngelx | 574 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | evoL | 404 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | TACO | 258 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ancient Lord | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | axE | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACO | +2.36 | 57 | 62 |
| #2 | Punct | +1.46 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | ElfAngelx | +0.88 | 54 | 78 |
| #4 | Exilir | +0.40 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | evoL | +0.24 | 50 | 57 |





