








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 409 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4219 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5813 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4302 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4219 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,462 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomasusus | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Punct | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | Exilir | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | ElfAngelx | 51% | 188 |
| #5 | porq | 48% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | porq | 48% | 131 |
| #6 | TACO | 48% | 46 |
| #7 | evoL | 47% | 239 |
| #8 | sadabello | 47% | 43 |
| #9 | Ancient Lord | 41% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exilir | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | evoL | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ElfAngelx | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Punct | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | tomasusus | 4 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElfAngelx | 536 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | evoL | 365 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Punct | 217 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ancient Lord | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Exilir | 96 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punct | +1.78 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | TACO | +1.74 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | ElfAngelx | +1.69 | 54 | 79 |
| #4 | evoL | +0.40 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | axE | +0.09 | 32 | 65 |





