








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1424 | 31% |
| Smokes | 873 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1449 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 789 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,396 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattaa | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Laaw2001 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | mike hawk | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | Samegame | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | ₿ ThiaS | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Easthouse | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | Simple men | 52% | 29 |
| #8 | Snow | 51% | 67 |
| #9 | Henrik | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | ✪Panda | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | mike hawk | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Samegame | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Easthouse | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Laaw2001 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 131 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | mike hawk | 107 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪Panda | 107 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | ₿ ThiaS | 73 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Easthouse | 70 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | +2.44 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | Samegame | +2.12 | 52 | 63 |
| #3 | ✪Panda | +1.83 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | ₿ ThiaS | +1.23 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | Easthouse | +1.09 | 72 | 59 |





