








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2047 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3793 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2323 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,250 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomasusus | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | TACO | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | axE | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | ElfAngelx | 51% | 162 |
| #5 | GipsyKing | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Punct | 50% | 76 |
| #7 | evoL | 47% | 186 |
| #8 | Ancient Lord | 46% | 61 |
| #9 | porq | 45% | 111 |
| #10 | sadabello | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evoL | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | axE | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | GipsyKing | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ElfAngelx | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Punct | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElfAngelx | 480 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | evoL | 287 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | axE | 246 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Punct | 200 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ancient Lord | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TACO | +2.64 | 53 | 67 |
| #2 | Punct | +1.53 | 73 | 77 |
| #3 | ElfAngelx | +1.33 | 56 | 79 |
| #4 | Exilir | +1.00 | 53 | 52 |
| #5 | axE | +0.45 | 30 | 67 |





