








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5798 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4393 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1564 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3526 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,976 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Escolik ツ | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | bluefalcon | 63% | 101 |
| #3 | Fyre ツ | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | 💀💀💀 | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | not iceman | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | stormzyy | 54% | 169 |
| #7 | germ | 54% | 215 |
| #8 | Silky | 54% | 143 |
| #9 | MaggyD | 53% | 17 |
| #10 | Boketto | 53% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germ | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Silky | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | stormzyy | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Boketto | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | bluefalcon | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germ | 1122 | 0.25 | 27 min |
| #2 | stormzyy | 515 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Boketto | 482 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Silky | 374 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | bluefalcon | 286 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stormzyy | +1.23 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | germ | +1.20 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | not iceman | +1.16 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | nomanasendhelp | +0.55 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | bluefalcon | +0.41 | 79 | 64 |





