








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1306 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2106 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1300 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2045 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,215 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomanasendhelp | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | bluefalcon | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | J3y | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | germ | 54% | 173 |
| #5 | Silky | 54% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Boketto | 54% | 154 |
| #7 | stormzyy | 52% | 82 |
| #8 | Fyre ツ | 52% | 52 |
| #9 | 💀💀💀 | 52% | 93 |
| #10 | not iceman | 51% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Boketto | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Fyre ツ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | nomanasendhelp | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | stormzyy | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germ | 1060 | 0.27 | 28 min |
| #2 | Boketto | 420 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | 💀💀💀 | 401 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | nomanasendhelp | 346 | 0.40 | 9 min |
| #5 | stormzyy | 305 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stormzyy | +1.33 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | germ | +1.16 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | not iceman | +0.74 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Escolik ツ | +0.46 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | nomanasendhelp | +0.32 | 69 | 73 |





