








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 486 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4853 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6854 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3617 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6087 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,313,415 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyre ツ | 60% | 88 |
| #2 | not iceman | 59% | 182 |
| #3 | bluefalcon | 56% | 235 |
| #4 | Silky | 56% | 214 |
| #5 | J3y | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Escolik ツ | 54% | 154 |
| #8 | germ | 53% | 441 |
| #9 | nomanasendhelp | 53% | 208 |
| #10 | 💀💀💀 | 53% | 178 |
| #11 | MaggyD | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germ | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | nomanasendhelp | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | stormzyy | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Silky | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | bluefalcon | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germ | 2462 | 0.25 | 62 min |
| #2 | nomanasendhelp | 1638 | 0.37 | 40 min |
| #3 | stormzyy | 1162 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #4 | bluefalcon | 796 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #5 | 💀💀💀 | 776 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not iceman | +1.73 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | stormzyy | +1.55 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | germ | +1.02 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | bluefalcon | +0.74 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | J3y | +0.62 | 79 | 63 |





