








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4808 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5081 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2721 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5490 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,375,073 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Rock | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Fragmints | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | Lazarus | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | d!ce. | 53% | 170 |
| #5 | ems | 53% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mr_Snugglez | 52% | 87 |
| #7 | Dog Fort | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | Cartman | 51% | 93 |
| #9 | The OG Breakfast Place | 50% | 107 |
| #10 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d!ce. | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ems | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Cartman | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | The OG Breakfast Place | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ems | 371 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | The OG Breakfast Place | 312 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | d!ce. | 263 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cartman | 176 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fragmints | 164 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | +1.72 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | ems | +1.11 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Mr_Snugglez | +0.55 | 47 | 52 |
| #4 | d!ce. | +0.39 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Fragmints | +0.35 | 81 | 71 |





