








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4278 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5263 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4461 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3468 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,359,244 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DETER | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | The OG Breakfast Place | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | ems | 56% | 169 |
| #4 | Warlock | 53% | 170 |
| #5 | Fragmints | 52% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fragmints | 52% | 101 |
| #6 | The Rock | 52% | 117 |
| #7 | Cartman | 50% | 161 |
| #8 | Lazarus | 50% | 158 |
| #9 | Springgy | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ems | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Lazarus | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Cartman | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | The Rock | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | 540 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | ems | 362 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fragmints | 330 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Cartman | 298 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | The Rock | 238 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DETER | +3.54 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | Springgy | +3.26 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | Warlock | +1.75 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | ems | +1.32 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | The Rock | +0.75 | 74 | 61 |





