








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3214 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5976 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5234 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2275 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,252 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The OG Breakfast Place | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | ems | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Warlock | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | d!ce. | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | Lazarus | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The OG Breakfast Place | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | ems | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Warlock | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | d!ce. | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | Lazarus | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d!ce. | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Warlock | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ems | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Lazarus | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | 309 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | d!ce. | 285 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | ems | 134 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | The OG Breakfast Place | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lazarus | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | +2.28 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | ems | +1.28 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Lazarus | +0.70 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | d!ce. | +0.67 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | The OG Breakfast Place | -0.72 | 61 | 58 |





