








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1207 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2506 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1481 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1949 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,966 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hot Dog | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Cartman | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Warlock | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | The OG Breakfast Place | 48% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Warlock | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | The OG Breakfast Place | 48% | 80 |
| #6 | d!ce. | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | PrimeRib | 44% | 27 |
| #8 | Dog Fort | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | The OG Breakfast Place | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Hot Dog | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Cartman | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlock | 313 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | The OG Breakfast Place | 224 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Hot Dog | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | d!ce. | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hot Dog | +4.45 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | Warlock | +2.51 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Mr_Snugglez | +0.89 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | d!ce. | +0.50 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | The OG Breakfast Place | -0.87 | 55 | 60 |





