








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9166 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6186 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4050 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4421 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,051,636 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fearless | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | DooBie_Doo | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | Cryp3r | 53% | 160 |
| #5 | Touch my tralala | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | DooBie_Doo | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | Cryp3r | 53% | 160 |
| #5 | Touch my tralala | 48% | 157 |
| #6 | KARM | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touch my tralala | 50 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | KARM | 15 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Cryp3r | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Fearless | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryp3r | 398 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | 303 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Fearless | 265 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | KARM | 194 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Touch my tralala | 191 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zusmoka ⭕⃤ | +2.91 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | Mangecouilles | +1.93 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Cryp3r | +0.40 | 77 | 56 |
| #4 | DooBie_Doo | -0.05 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | KARM | -0.08 | 70 | 65 |





