








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 577 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5420 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6485 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5226 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5014 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,528,090 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cACAYA | 56% | 107 |
| #2 | JAKSULLY | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | Hansen | 54% | 147 |
| #4 | Arne R Cool | 53% | 74 |
| #5 | malm | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Lange Luke Logan | 48% | 207 |
| #13 | Each | 48% | 82 |
| #14 | Doomhax | 46% | 41 |
| #15 | Simplez! | 41% | 41 |
| #16 | TT | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Relko | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Hansen | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | RaZz | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 1130 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | Hansen | 644 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | cACAYA | 557 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #4 | Dyno Paps | 512 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | RaZz | 429 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | +4.26 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | +3.04 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | JAKSULLY | +1.88 | 70 | 74 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | +1.87 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | Hansen | +1.52 | 69 | 80 |





