








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18635 | 34% |
| Smokes | 14658 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10106 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 10642 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,609,621 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βluE S†e3L™ | 55% | 264 |
| #2 | UmLungu | 53% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βluE S†e3L™ | 55% | 264 |
| #2 | UmLungu | 53% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βluE S†e3L™ | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | UmLungu | 11 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βluE S†e3L™ | 761 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | UmLungu | 424 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βluE S†e3L™ | +1.61 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Fresh Potato | +1.11 | 56 | 73 |
| #3 | UmLungu | +1.01 | 73 | 59 |





