








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 328 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9464 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8111 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6862 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6959 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,899,459 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prozac princess | 91% | 68 |
| #2 | Alchemy | 86% | 118 |
| #3 | meap | 85% | 54 |
| #4 | BOT Eugene | 75% | 57 |
| #5 | King Salt | 74% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Randillion | 62% | 90 |
| #10 | super zero | 62% | 95 |
| #11 | kita | 60% | 243 |
| #12 | BPR | 58% | 189 |
| #13 | sealskis11 | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kita | 25 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 20 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | sealskis11 | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | BPR | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 356 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Randillion | 314 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 287 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | super zero | 212 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | assass1n | 171 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alchemy | +6.07 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | assass1n | +4.54 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | Rise | +3.56 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | Randillion | +2.06 | 92 | 66 |
| #5 | styrofoamdonkey15 | +1.43 | 87 | 39 |





