








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 899 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7470 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5246 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3273 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 6843 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,929,603 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 60% | 176 |
| #8 | Randillion | 59% | 116 |
| #9 | meap | 57% | 54 |
| #10 | new player | 57% | 53 |
| #11 | kita | 50% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kita | 26 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 24 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | assass1n | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | meap | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | TerpyJ Sosa | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 654 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | assass1n | 448 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | BeaKie | 365 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #4 | new player | 364 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #5 | Randillion | 339 | 0.15 | 9 min |





