








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 80 | 4% |
| Smokes | 330 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 753 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,856 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speisa | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | kristo | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Ghost | 50% | 60 |
| #4 | Roffen§ | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | Snaph | 49% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Roffen§ | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | Snaph | 49% | 96 |
| #6 | Lando Norris | 43% | 56 |
| #7 | Voce Vai Morrer | 40% | 25 |
| #8 | Blokhus | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roffen§ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Lando Norris | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Snaph | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Voce Vai Morrer | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | kristo | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | 275 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Roffen§ | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Snaph | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Blokhus | 121 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Speisa | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristo | +1.07 | 52 | 61 |
| #2 | Snaph | +0.86 | 54 | 57 |
| #3 | Lando Norris | +0.74 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | et meg | +0.57 | 52 | 31 |
| #5 | Blokhus | +0.02 | 47 | 70 |





