








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 426 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6129 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6325 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5340 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4569 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,373,019 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 51% | 324 |
| #2 | Snaph | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Speisa | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Lando Norris | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | Roffen§ | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 51% | 324 |
| #2 | Snaph | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Speisa | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Lando Norris | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | Roffen§ | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Snaph | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Lando Norris | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Roffen§ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 1297 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #2 | Lando Norris | 266 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Snaph | 58 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Roffen§ | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Speisa | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | +2.34 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | Lando Norris | +2.32 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | Snaph | +1.80 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | Roffen§ | +0.28 | 49 | 69 |
| #5 | Speisa | -0.06 | 62 | 56 |





