








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3066 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2790 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1855 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1185 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,277 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snaph | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | Blokhus | 51% | 200 |
| #3 | Voce Vai Morrer | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | Roffen§ | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Ghost | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Roffen§ | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Ghost | 48% | 73 |
| #6 | et meg | 43% | 56 |
| #7 | Speisa | 43% | 75 |
| #8 | kristo | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Voce Vai Morrer | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Snaph | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | kristo | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Roffen§ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 917 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | Voce Vai Morrer | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Roffen§ | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Snaph | 94 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Speisa | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | +1.86 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | Snaph | +1.04 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | Blokhus | +1.01 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | et meg | +0.34 | 49 | 32 |
| #5 | kristo | -0.44 | 49 | 59 |





