








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1460 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1264 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2057 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,738 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speisa | 53% | 99 |
| #2 | Snaph | 53% | 120 |
| #3 | Blokhus | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | et meg | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | Ghost | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | et meg | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | Ghost | 48% | 83 |
| #6 | Lando Norris | 48% | 77 |
| #7 | Voce Vai Morrer | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | kristo | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | et meg | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Snaph | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Lando Norris | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Blokhus | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Voce Vai Morrer | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | 357 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Blokhus | 219 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Snaph | 171 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Speisa | 111 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Voce Vai Morrer | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | +1.45 | 59 | 60 |
| #2 | Blokhus | +1.08 | 54 | 72 |
| #3 | Snaph | +0.83 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | et meg | +0.47 | 52 | 31 |
| #5 | kristo | +0.46 | 48 | 58 |





