








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1137 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3921 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4398 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4416 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,087,172 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | et meg | 50% | 60 |
| #2 | Blokhus | 49% | 119 |
| #3 | Roffen§ | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | Lando Norris | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Snaph | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Roffen§ | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | Lando Norris | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Snaph | 48% | 69 |
| #6 | Speisa | 47% | 88 |
| #7 | kristo | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Blokhus | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Roffen§ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Snaph | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | et meg | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 454 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lando Norris | 256 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Roffen§ | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Snaph | 102 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Speisa | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | +1.64 | 64 | 63 |
| #2 | Blokhus | +1.29 | 59 | 74 |
| #3 | Snaph | +0.73 | 53 | 55 |
| #4 | et meg | +0.46 | 52 | 32 |
| #5 | kristo | +0.35 | 53 | 59 |





