










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1166 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1122 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 883 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,549 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | Lando Norris | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | Roffen§ | 53% | 120 |
| #4 | Speisa | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Voce Vai Morrer | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Roffen§ | 53% | 120 |
| #4 | Speisa | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Voce Vai Morrer | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | et meg | 49% | 96 |
| #7 | Ghost | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Roffen§ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | et meg | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Voce Vai Morrer | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Ghost | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando Norris | 318 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Blokhus | 283 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | Roffen§ | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Speisa | 103 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Voce Vai Morrer | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blokhus | +1.35 | 55 | 72 |
| #2 | Lando Norris | +1.34 | 58 | 63 |
| #3 | Snaph | +1.01 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | et meg | +0.58 | 51 | 30 |
| #5 | Speisa | -0.40 | 55 | 58 |





