








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1415 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1100 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,385 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goombaz | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | PhanTasM | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | TRL | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | AyeJex | 52% | 120 |
| #5 | Skraapz | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BigOrca | 50% | 32 |
| #7 | Skout | 50% | 107 |
| #8 | donut | 47% | 43 |
| #9 | Whirly | 45% | 73 |
| #10 | Mudhound69 | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | BigOrca | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | AyeJex | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Whirly | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TRL | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | 569 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | AyeJex | 406 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Whirly | 317 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | Skraapz | 212 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | donut | 188 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | +2.45 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | donut | +1.24 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | PhanTasM | +1.24 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | AyeJex | +1.07 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | anime grill | +0.04 | 72 | 66 |





